TL;DR: While efficiency and productivity systems are valuable tools, they shouldn’t become the measure of our worth. The key is using systems strategically to create space for what truly matters—relationships, rest, and presence. By being efficient with unavoidable tasks, we can protect time for the gloriously inefficient work of love, connection, and restoration.
“Efficiency is often the enemy of love” ~Dr. Kelly Kapic
I think the world works best when we’re all honest about the limitations of our own ‘thing.’
My ‘thing’ is systems. I love productivity and time management and, of course, efficiency.
I also agree wholeheartedly with Kelly Kapic’s quote above.
Dr. Kapic was one of my favorite college professors, partially because he would hit us often with zingers like this.
He explained it more by saying:
“There is nothing more inefficient than love….when we live by making outputs the primary way we judge our lives, then it makes the slowness of process and relationships incredibly difficult…Love and life are found in the inefficiencies of presence and mutual delight.”
Here is my honest truth. As an American with a type-A personality, a systems-oriented mind, and a ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ workaholic heritage, I find rest difficult. I often think in terms of output. When I feel out of control, I feel a compulsion to organize so I can feel back in control again.
When I sit down to write, or teach, or consult, I take seriously my own responsibility to consider this fact. I want my work to impact other people with the best I have to offer, not the worst.
So how do I keep teaching about efficiency while also believing that inefficient love should undergird everything I do? How do I pass on my best strategies without deepening a harmful narrative that we are only as valuable as we are productive?
How Can Productivity Systems Help Us Prioritize What Matters Most?
I can do it because I believe that systems are a tool that can actually help us cultivate love and presence.
I use systems to curtail my own workaholism and feel good about wrapping up work on time. I use systems to get the unavoidable things done so I have actual space to cultivate rest and presence. Efficiency has made it possible for me to cut my work hours in half without our revenue dropping.
Why Is Love More Important Than Efficiency?
Love IS inefficient. I don’t want to build systems that help us all cram more into our lives. I want to build systems that allow us to channel our time towards what matters most. I want us to know how to protect the time we need to get coffee with friends, to cry with someone who is grieving, and to get on the floor and play with our kids.
What Should Be the Real Goal of Time Management?
Efficiency isn’t the goal – it’s just a means to an end. If we can be more efficient in some areas, and resist the urge to fill our time with more stuff to do, then we might just find ourselves with the space to be gloriously inefficient with the people we love, the hobbies that light us up, and rest that actually restores us.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I balance productivity with being present for the people I love?
A: The key is to use productivity systems strategically—not to pack more into your schedule, but to efficiently handle necessary tasks so you can protect unstructured time for relationships. Think of efficiency as a tool that creates margin in your life, not as a way to maximize output. When you streamline your work processes, you gain the freedom to be fully present without guilt or distraction.
Q: Is it wrong to value efficiency and productivity?
A: Not at all. Efficiency and productivity systems are valuable tools, but they become problematic when they define our worth or when we use them to fill every moment with more tasks. The goal should be using these tools to free up time for what truly matters—rest, relationships, and activities that restore us—rather than measuring our value by our output.
Q: How can I stop feeling guilty when I’m not being productive?
A: I’m still working on this one, so I don’t have a perfect answer. A good start can be reframing what “productive” means. Time spent with loved ones, rest, and activities that bring you joy are productive uses of time—they’re just not efficient in the traditional sense. The goal is presence, not productivity. One question I’ve found helpful is, “what is all this work FOR? If it’s to build a good life with my family, but I’m not enjoying a good life with my family, is it possible I’m doing too much?”
Q: What’s the difference between good systems and workaholism?
A: Good systems have clear boundaries and endpoints—they help you complete necessary work so you can stop working. Workaholism, on the other hand, uses systems to pack in more work and rarely has a stopping point. If your systems help you work less while maintaining results (or allow you to finish on time without guilt), they’re working for you. If they’re enabling you to take on more and more, they may be feeding workaholism.
Q: How do I create space for “inefficient love” in my daily schedule?
A: First, get ruthlessly efficient with unavoidable tasks—automate, batch, delegate, or streamline wherever possible. Then, resist the urge to fill the freed-up time with more commitments. Protect blocks of time specifically for unstructured activities: coffee dates, playing with kids, pursuing hobbies, or simply being available when someone needs you. Remember, these moments don’t need to produce anything to be worthwhile.
